


Dean and the Beanstalk

by Jacqueline Albright-Beckett (xaandria)



Series: Fairy Tales for ANobleCompanion [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, birthday fic, first person POV, jack and the beanstalk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-09
Updated: 2014-03-09
Packaged: 2018-01-15 02:50:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1288435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xaandria/pseuds/Jacqueline%20Albright-Beckett
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Look, it's not a big deal. Magic beans notwithstanding; I'm still not entirely sure what happened there. But when you see a giant beanstalk, of course you climb it, right? I mean, what else would you do with it?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dean and the Beanstalk

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ANobleCompanion](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ANobleCompanion/gifts).



> and one more super-short hurrah because ANobleCompanion is just that awesome. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Look, it's not a big deal. Magic beans notwithstanding; I'm still not entirely sure what happened there. But when you see a giant beanstalk, of course you climb it, right? I mean, what else would you do with it?

Okay, well, yeah, I guess _not climbing it_ is an option, Cas. But then this entire story is pretty much just a trip to the garden section of Lowe's.

No, I didn't literally climb it. Jesus. I'd need arms like Arnold. No, I touched it, and bam, I was upstairs.

Yeah. That Upstairs. Don't -- don't even ask how that works. Thousands of angels trying to get up there and a weed does it for me?

Anyway, so I've been bodily transported to Heaven in my own little private Rapture, I still don't have pants, no idea what's going on, and half-expecting to hear "Fee Fi Fo Fum, I smell the blood of a Hunter's son," right? Because really, at that point, nothing would have surprised me.

Except the elephant. That was kind of surprising.

Turns out that the Heaven you and I saw, Sam? That's the Heaven you see when you die. But there's a whole backstage thing going on. And...

Peaceful, actually. It's got the feel of an abandoned lot, but it's not falling apart. It doesn't look like a giant war happened. Yeah. I know you were worried.

Anyway. I wandered around for a bit -- that's how I found the elephant -- but I knew it wasn’t gonna be long before Metatron found me. So when he did, I was expecting him, and he wasted time talking.

I just punched him.

What else was I gonna do, Sam? I don't exactly keep my gun in my boxers, and it's not like it would have helped anyway. Would an Angel Blade even kill Metatron at this point?

So I punched him, and since that felt really good, I punched him again. To be thorough. But Sparky McChucklefuck didn't like that much. Little dude is strong, man. He, uh, kind of thrashed me. Pretty sure he was about to kill me, but that's when you stabbed the beanstalk, Cas.

Tell me, what logic made you decide to stab it? Do you just go around stabbing plants? Was a carrot rude to you once?

Anyway. I started falling at that point. I have a whole new appreciation for what you went through now, believe me. That's a long way to fall. And now I'm back here, you’ve stabbed the beanstalk to death, and...

Please tell me you have my pants.


End file.
